On October 23rd, 2018 at 3:33 PM, I heard the most perfect sound - my baby girl letting the world hear her roar. I spent 9 months crying and waiting and hoping for that sound. I am so exhausted, I've been cut open and taken apart and sewn back together. I haven't slept in over 24 hours, my insides feel like they could fall out at any moment, her nursery isn't finished and I have a good 20 (okay, 30) pounds to lose. And this is the happiest I've ever been! My sweet Ella Jean Forêt, you are more and better and lovelier than I could have ever imagined. I love you more than life.
We literally waited until the LAST minute to take some maternity photos. This was the night before sweet Ella Jean was born. Thanks to my little sister Alysha for snapping these photos for us.
I’ve decided that is the best way I can describe pregnancy: a transition.
A transition from eating saltines to throwing them up, a transition from loving avocados to hating them, from being maddeningly uncomfortable in my own clothes to giving up and buying overpriced pants with a giant elastic band around the waist, a transition from the highs of each day to the lows - and trying to settle somewhere in between.
I’ve had to give up a few things I wanted to do this year while putting others on hold. But I’m learning to give myself grace while fighting the thoughts of feeling like a bad wife, friend or business owner. Taking care of that extra heart beating inside of me is everything right now. Thankfully, I married a good man who handles life with tremendous ease… or at least he pretends to. Probably so I don’t cry. Which only works out half the time.
We're in the process of moving. I have been in full nesting mode but instead of decorating and creating a comfy home, I'm boxing and packing and cleaning the one we’ve got. The one where we built the beginning of our life together. The one that will always be a special place where it was "just the two of us”.
I have been on a mission to go natural this year. I started with the obvious: food. January went well - I did (mostly) Whole30. Then I got pregnant and switched from “eating clean” to “eating anything I can keep down” which turned out to be hardly anything. My daily diet consisted of bagels and popcorn for about 10 weeks straight. Soooo, that was cool.
Instead, I shifted my focus to getting toxic chemicals out of our house. I’ve been obsessed with the Think Dirty App, my essential oils, and making my own deodorant and cleaning products. We aren’t there yet but SLOWLY switching out small parts of our life for better options. This is something I've been wanting to do for a while. But this little baby growing inside my belly has given me a sense of urgency.
I’ve unintentionally neglected this space for a while. The past two years, I've been pouring myself into Asheville Folk (with no regrets!) But now, more than ever, documenting our life and growing family is the most important thing to me. (This is my very vague, noncommittal, non-specific way of saying I plan on blogging a lot more... Wish me luck!)